8:30 AM: Who am I kidding? SNOOZE.
8:40 AM: SNOOZE.
8:50 AM: SNOOZE.
9:00 AM: SNOO– Oh, I have a text. Have you started your novel yet?
“Yes. Got up early. So much inspiration at daybreak!”
9:15 AM: Uhhhhhhhhhhhh
9:30 AM: That is way too much toothpaste. My whole mouth feels numb.
10:00 AM: Okay, I’m ready. I’m ready, I’m ready. I am pumped. I am here in the zone. YES.
10:05 AM: I’m hungry. I should make pancakes.
10:06 AM: Goddamnit. No flour. No eggs. No milk. It’s cool, I’ll just chew on that suspicious-looking celery. This is so cleansing. My hunger will drive my mind to new depths of imagination. It’s basically mind-yoga. I don’t even need to exercise today.
10:10 AM: This celery tastes awful.
10:30 AM: What was that character called again? I knew I should have drawn up character notes! I can’t even remember if that person is supposed to be a boy or a girl.
10:35 AM: Just write the damn thing. Just get it down and worry about logistics later. Gender is a flexible concept, anyway.
11:00 AM: STOP EDITING IT AS YOU GO. Just stop. Just keep going. Stop scrolling back up and reading the prose again and feeling like everything sucks.
11:15 AM: What?! Only five pages?? What have I been doing??
11:30 AM: This part is so boring. I might just skip it for now…
11: 31 AM: “[insert meaningful conversation here later]”
11:40 AM: No. I’m too hungry. I don’t feel cleansed. I feel HUNGRY. Lunch?
11:45 AM: “Hello, yes? Hi. I would like a large pepperoni pizza, please. Yes. Yes, I’ll hold.”
12:00 PM: Where. Is. The. Pizza. WHEREISTHEPIZZA?
12:12 PM: Yessss, pizzzza. Yessssssss.
12:20 PM: Hmm, I am re-thinking my decision to give that character such a flowery name. It’s really symbolic and kind of pretty, but honestly, nobody is called that in real life. Maybe something monosyllabic instead?
12:30 PM: How do I work Microsoft Word so every time I had put down the previous name it will automatically be replaced by the new one?
12:35 PM: “Google Search: Microsoft Word every time previous word replaced new one”
12:36 PM: This is too much reading.
12:38 PM: Screw it. I’ll change it later or just not at all.
1:00 PM: Did I already write that part? My event sequence is all messed up. I’ll have to go back and check.
1:20 PM: I KILLED HIM ALREADY? I thought I hadn’t written the accident yet??
1:25 PM: It’s fine. Now, he’s just grievously injured instead. He can absolutely make a full recovery and live and say those later lines.
2:00 PM: Oh, man, those are some hideous typos.
2:30 PM: Okay, I deserve a break. My brain is fried. This will be good for me. I should do something healthy and relaxing to recharge my creative batteries.
2:50 PM: I think I’ve watched this episode already. I’ll just Wikipedia the episode synopses really quickly…
2:55 PM: NO. I over-read. I’ve spoiled it for myself. Why didn’t I just stop scrolling??
3:00 PM: I didn’t feel like watching that show anyway. Too much humor when I’m trying to nourish sober thoughts for my sensitive novel subject matter.
3:10 PM: Mmm… Elementary… Lucy Liu kills it as Watson.
3:57 PM: Okay, one more.
4:45 PM: Okay, one more.
5:33 PM: Dinner time! And I have pizza!
5:40 PM: Ugh. Microwave made the crust all soggy.
6:00 PM: Okay, now I’m done with my relaxation and I am going to go hard. I am going to write like I’ve never written before.
7:00 PM: This is not working out. My creative juices are dry. I am dry.
7:30 PM: I don’t even know what kind of personality this person has anymore. They are so flat.
8:00 PM: This whole novel sucks. I hate this. I hate everything about it. There is absolutely no expression anywhere in this and my prose is non-existent.
8:10 PM: I’m just going to give up for today. I’m sure tomorrow I’ll feel more excited. I’ll watch some more Elementary and unwind and get up early tomorrow. I’ll go running! That’ll really get me off to a good start! And I’ll put lemon in my iced water. Maybe I should just go to Starbucks and write there instead.
